9* 35.1' N
101* 16.9' E
Heading 347*
Speed 1.5 kilometers per Day
Pipelaying.
Wind gentle 5 knot southerly breeze
Clear sky @ 0400 temp 82*
Fishy??
Where are you??
Hello fishy fishes.
Hello sharky warky. Hello dolphins.
Heeelllloooooo?????
There are none. Nothing. Just a few small tiddlers.
No sharks sighted, no dolphins sighted, and nothing showing up on our stinger cameras.
The seabed is barren, no plant life just a silty sh!ty sludge, no crabs or anything else.
Even when in close to a rig, the normal home of a myriad of sea life for the top predators down to the humble sea cucumber, there is a marked dearth of sea life of any type.
If you want a prime example of what over fishing can do to an area of the sea then go no further than here.
The fleets of Thailand, Cambodia Malaysia, Vietnam, have been netting and trawling and decimating the area for years using ever more sophisticated methods of catching a dwindling stock and now they have finally done it. There is sod all left.
"How can I be so sure?" you may ask, well allow me elucidate.
We have a thing that sticks out the back of the barge called a Stinger.
It is made of 8 and 10 inch tubular steel as well as substantial box steel girders.
It is 50 meters long and 6 meters wide
It weighs 425 tons and its purpose is to guide the catenary of the pipe line as it exists the vessel and proceeds to the sea bed.
The method of pipe lay using a stinger form tyhe stern of the vessel is called "S" Lay as the profile looks like an elongated flattened S on its side.
It looks a bit like the thorax of a wasp hence the name "stinger".
On this current lay we have it at an angle of 13 degrees which means the end of it is at about 11 meters below the surface.
Most jobs we do, (in the average depths of water here of 70 meters) are done with the stinger tip at between 10 and 13 meters below the surface .
We have too high definition sub sea cameras on the stinger, one at the end looking back towards the ship and one looking across the end.
We also have an ROV in the water most of the time operating from 15 meters to 79 meters depth monitoring the touchdown and profile of the pipeline.
When you put a large construction of lattice steel in the sea, practically anywhere in the world, withing hours it has become a hotel for a wide diversity of fish from the tiddlers, who see it as haven, to the big predators who see it as a free take away, although they normally arrive later.
When we put the stinger in sometimes within minutes, and certainly within a few hours, the cameras look like they have been placed in a huge well stocked aquarium with a large variety of fish of all shapes and sizes using it as a sort of fish hotel and new habitat.
From 8* 30 to 10* 40 north that's 130 miles long by 40 miles wide we have no more than three or 4 piddley little fish in the stinger and not one predator. On the ROV we have only seen perhaps 5 "other fish" and we did have a lone cuttle fish the other night dancing in the camera spotlights.
200 miles south in the Malaysian sector there were plenty of fish of all sizes knocking about and off Bali Indonesia and Borneo and Papua New Guinea it was like fish soup, but up here it is a grim picture indeed.
I have seen more fish on the camera in the North Sea and that is pretty barren after decades of self interested, greed propelled, poorly managed and governed over-fishing I can assure you.
It is at time like this when you see the damage done by too many greedy people trying to scam a few quid today with no thought for tomorrow all fueled by corruption and avarice that leaves my heart heavy with sadness for the plight of the human animal. :cry: :cry:
Cheers
Bentley
I nearly forgot the music of the day and because I am sad I have chosen a song that, although hauntingly beautiful and can convey a feeling of sadness it also shows that there is still the hope of light and moving forward.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXRExocnpUw
Saturday, 17 March 2012
Back ON Line and Laying Pipe
Ahoy! There M'Hearties. (am I right in thinking that Ahoy is the only word in the English language that should have an explanation mark behind it ? or am I confusing it with Ho! as in Wesward Ho! a rather dreary little collection of shabby bungalows along the coast from Bideford?)
98 35.8' N
101* 21' E
Speed 1.7 kilometers per DAY
Course 156*
Wind SE3 (Gentle breeze)
Sea state less than half a meter ESE'ly swell
Temp (@0400 83*)
WE are in the Gulf of Thailand laying pipe in the chevron field which constitutes a major part of the Thai oil and gas supply. WE expect to be here until late September installing several new [pipe lines and the installing several new platforms connecting the pipe line to the platforms sub sea and installing a new mooring system for an FPSO (and offshore floating, production, storage and offloading facility)
I will try to keep you updated with what we bare doing and how we are doing it for the more technical minded and inquisitive and also make some forays into writing about old tales or new ideas as we go along.
My due of date is April 24th and, as normal, when I am home my updates will be sporadic at best until I join again on June 12th.
Suffice to say that Mrs B and I had a wonderful leave, very busy and productive and full of laughter and we were practically joined at the hip for every second of our 5 and half weeks together.
So today the music is:-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qHPetLms4ZU
So are you wondering how a pipe laying vessel works?
Well how uncanny is that, as I am just about to explain the operation non this vessel.
We are 140 meters long and 40 meters wide. we have a freeboard (the bit above the water line to the main deck) of about 3.5 meters and a draught (the bit below the water line) of about 6.5.
We are self propelled by 6 azimuth thrusters (3 fwd and 3 aft) controlled by a system called dynamic positioning. I am a the Senior Dynamic Positioning Officer on board (I drive the boat) and answer to the Master for marine matters and the barge superintendent for project matters.
WE produce 24,500 kilowatts of power via 6 engines spread evenly between the thrusters, depending on what generator configuration we are using.
The accommodation (that can sleep 395) is on 4 decks and incorporates the galley mess rooms gyms laundries, conference rooms, offices tv lounges etc mainly on the lower deck with the cabins being on the three decks above. Above that lot is the bridge and forward of the bridge is the Heli Deck which is about 30 meters by 40 and makes an ideal place for a walk in the sunshine and breeze with 360* panoramic view of the sea.
It is situated forward and raised up by 10 meters from the main deck and that space is filled with the pipe lining up gear.
The middle longditudinal section of the vessel houses what we call the "firing line" which is in effect a factory production line that the pipe line is created in and travels down on its way to the sea bed.
When laying pipe we have a succession of material barges loaded with pipe come in and tie up to us.
The pipe lengths are loaded onto the port side of the vessel and stacked there and then one at a time they are sent along a series of powered rollers which pulls a "rabbit" through which is a huge wire brush that scours the inside of the pipe to remove any debris.
As the rabbit burrows down the next pipe, the one we are following arrives at the beveling station where the 12.5 meter lengths of pipe are milled and beveled to the correct angle for the weld.
They are then transported by powered rollers to the approach to the firing line.
Here it has a line shot through to the other end (more later) and the end closest to the first welding station is being followed by a bloke with a high temp gas burner bringing the end to a high heat to ensure a good weld.
As the pipe takes its turn at the front of the firing line it is situated on a set of rollers that the number 1 weld station (known as the Bead Stall) can line it up with the previous pipe end,. Meanwhile another bloke with a gas torch is heating up the other end.
The line inside the pipe is attached to the internal clamp and x ray machine crawler and as the pipe in front is sent down the line it pulls the clamp and x ray into the new position.
The internal clamp is moved into position and the Bead Stall crew line u0p the next length of pipe which is then clamped internally to hold it for welding.
Meanwhile at 8 other stations down the length of the firing line the following happens. The first four stations are all welding stations so as each joint goes down the line it is hand welded 4 times.
When on bigger pipe this one is only 16 inch) we use automatic welding bugs that do the weld.
Station 5 is the x ray station where the internal x ray crawler lines it self up with the weld and a negative is applied to the outside. A lead hood is pulled over and ZAP.
The next station is 6 where any repairs are done if it fails the x ray.
the next 7 and 8 are where the external coating is done and the it exits the vessel via the stern through the stinger and down to the sea bed in pone seamless endless continuous process.
At the moment we are managing about 5 joints an hour. On some pipelines when using automatic welding bugs we reach 10 or 12 an hour and can do over 2 kilometers a day.
The whole thing is choreographed by a light system so as each station finishes its work they hit a green light when I have a line of 8 greens on the bridge an alarm sounds and I instigate the move forward of 12.5 meters. This is controlled by the by vessel thrusters and also the tensioner that maintains a tension on the pipeline to prevent it form just falling into the sea. (Aussie Bert is the tensioner operator on my watch he is a bit iof a bushman when home and has already told me many ways of dispatching the most dangerous snakes in the outback. he is abit like Crocodile Dundee with a mustache and flip flops, and is great fun to share a watch with.)
(as an aside on her we also have on the bridge team a Filipino DPO, A Malay Radio Operator, A Singaporean and a Borneo Malay (Sarawk) survey team and an Itallian client rep and an Indian Master with Thai stewrads.) There are afew other nationalities on the other watch. I am midnight to midday and we are 7 hours in front of France time.)
The angle of the pipeline against the depth of water and the correct tension are all finely balanced and the pipeline reaches the seabed about 380 (in this case) meters behind us.
This is worked out by the survey team and the field engineers who also work out what curves we need to lay in the pipe and where and how close to get to obstacles on the seabed that has already been pre-surveyed.
The DP system works out what track the vessel needs to make and what heading changes are needed to get the required pipe line track.
We check this every few hour with an ROV which is an unmanned sub sea robot with cameras and position beacons.
We weld on a lay down head at the end and then using a very powerful winch and the vessels motion we lay the pipe to the seabed. The ROV pops down and cuts the sacrificial sling on the end and then we either bugger of somewhere to do it again or deploy our divers to go and fit a spool piece that connects the pipeline to the nearby platform.
So you now you know when I say we are laying pipe that's what we are up to
Good night and wild dreams
Bentley
The numbers
The longest pipeline I have done on here was 140 kilometers at 2 kilometers a day.
That was a 32 inch gas pipe line and each 12.5 meter length was about 1500 quid.
That was 16.8 million for the pipe itself and @ 250,000 a day for us to lay it = another 16 million.
There would have been all the survey work beforehand and then their is the flotilla of vessels that support us and on and on it goes.
The pipe line would have been in profit within the first 6 months of flowing.
:shock:
98 35.8' N
101* 21' E
Speed 1.7 kilometers per DAY
Course 156*
Wind SE3 (Gentle breeze)
Sea state less than half a meter ESE'ly swell
Temp (@0400 83*)
WE are in the Gulf of Thailand laying pipe in the chevron field which constitutes a major part of the Thai oil and gas supply. WE expect to be here until late September installing several new [pipe lines and the installing several new platforms connecting the pipe line to the platforms sub sea and installing a new mooring system for an FPSO (and offshore floating, production, storage and offloading facility)
I will try to keep you updated with what we bare doing and how we are doing it for the more technical minded and inquisitive and also make some forays into writing about old tales or new ideas as we go along.
My due of date is April 24th and, as normal, when I am home my updates will be sporadic at best until I join again on June 12th.
Suffice to say that Mrs B and I had a wonderful leave, very busy and productive and full of laughter and we were practically joined at the hip for every second of our 5 and half weeks together.
So today the music is:-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qHPetLms4ZU
So are you wondering how a pipe laying vessel works?
Well how uncanny is that, as I am just about to explain the operation non this vessel.
We are 140 meters long and 40 meters wide. we have a freeboard (the bit above the water line to the main deck) of about 3.5 meters and a draught (the bit below the water line) of about 6.5.
We are self propelled by 6 azimuth thrusters (3 fwd and 3 aft) controlled by a system called dynamic positioning. I am a the Senior Dynamic Positioning Officer on board (I drive the boat) and answer to the Master for marine matters and the barge superintendent for project matters.
WE produce 24,500 kilowatts of power via 6 engines spread evenly between the thrusters, depending on what generator configuration we are using.
The accommodation (that can sleep 395) is on 4 decks and incorporates the galley mess rooms gyms laundries, conference rooms, offices tv lounges etc mainly on the lower deck with the cabins being on the three decks above. Above that lot is the bridge and forward of the bridge is the Heli Deck which is about 30 meters by 40 and makes an ideal place for a walk in the sunshine and breeze with 360* panoramic view of the sea.
It is situated forward and raised up by 10 meters from the main deck and that space is filled with the pipe lining up gear.
The middle longditudinal section of the vessel houses what we call the "firing line" which is in effect a factory production line that the pipe line is created in and travels down on its way to the sea bed.
When laying pipe we have a succession of material barges loaded with pipe come in and tie up to us.
The pipe lengths are loaded onto the port side of the vessel and stacked there and then one at a time they are sent along a series of powered rollers which pulls a "rabbit" through which is a huge wire brush that scours the inside of the pipe to remove any debris.
As the rabbit burrows down the next pipe, the one we are following arrives at the beveling station where the 12.5 meter lengths of pipe are milled and beveled to the correct angle for the weld.
They are then transported by powered rollers to the approach to the firing line.
Here it has a line shot through to the other end (more later) and the end closest to the first welding station is being followed by a bloke with a high temp gas burner bringing the end to a high heat to ensure a good weld.
As the pipe takes its turn at the front of the firing line it is situated on a set of rollers that the number 1 weld station (known as the Bead Stall) can line it up with the previous pipe end,. Meanwhile another bloke with a gas torch is heating up the other end.
The line inside the pipe is attached to the internal clamp and x ray machine crawler and as the pipe in front is sent down the line it pulls the clamp and x ray into the new position.
The internal clamp is moved into position and the Bead Stall crew line u0p the next length of pipe which is then clamped internally to hold it for welding.
Meanwhile at 8 other stations down the length of the firing line the following happens. The first four stations are all welding stations so as each joint goes down the line it is hand welded 4 times.
When on bigger pipe this one is only 16 inch) we use automatic welding bugs that do the weld.
Station 5 is the x ray station where the internal x ray crawler lines it self up with the weld and a negative is applied to the outside. A lead hood is pulled over and ZAP.
The next station is 6 where any repairs are done if it fails the x ray.
the next 7 and 8 are where the external coating is done and the it exits the vessel via the stern through the stinger and down to the sea bed in pone seamless endless continuous process.
At the moment we are managing about 5 joints an hour. On some pipelines when using automatic welding bugs we reach 10 or 12 an hour and can do over 2 kilometers a day.
The whole thing is choreographed by a light system so as each station finishes its work they hit a green light when I have a line of 8 greens on the bridge an alarm sounds and I instigate the move forward of 12.5 meters. This is controlled by the by vessel thrusters and also the tensioner that maintains a tension on the pipeline to prevent it form just falling into the sea. (Aussie Bert is the tensioner operator on my watch he is a bit iof a bushman when home and has already told me many ways of dispatching the most dangerous snakes in the outback. he is abit like Crocodile Dundee with a mustache and flip flops, and is great fun to share a watch with.)
(as an aside on her we also have on the bridge team a Filipino DPO, A Malay Radio Operator, A Singaporean and a Borneo Malay (Sarawk) survey team and an Itallian client rep and an Indian Master with Thai stewrads.) There are afew other nationalities on the other watch. I am midnight to midday and we are 7 hours in front of France time.)
The angle of the pipeline against the depth of water and the correct tension are all finely balanced and the pipeline reaches the seabed about 380 (in this case) meters behind us.
This is worked out by the survey team and the field engineers who also work out what curves we need to lay in the pipe and where and how close to get to obstacles on the seabed that has already been pre-surveyed.
The DP system works out what track the vessel needs to make and what heading changes are needed to get the required pipe line track.
We check this every few hour with an ROV which is an unmanned sub sea robot with cameras and position beacons.
We weld on a lay down head at the end and then using a very powerful winch and the vessels motion we lay the pipe to the seabed. The ROV pops down and cuts the sacrificial sling on the end and then we either bugger of somewhere to do it again or deploy our divers to go and fit a spool piece that connects the pipeline to the nearby platform.
So you now you know when I say we are laying pipe that's what we are up to
Good night and wild dreams
Bentley
The numbers
The longest pipeline I have done on here was 140 kilometers at 2 kilometers a day.
That was a 32 inch gas pipe line and each 12.5 meter length was about 1500 quid.
That was 16.8 million for the pipe itself and @ 250,000 a day for us to lay it = another 16 million.
There would have been all the survey work beforehand and then their is the flotilla of vessels that support us and on and on it goes.
The pipe line would have been in profit within the first 6 months of flowing.
:shock:
Tuesday, 17 January 2012
Comedy in Singapore
Aye Aye landlubbers, I am in Singapore tonight and have a gig at the Masala Comedy Club Riverside Walk. Looking forward to flexing my comedy muscle again. It will be about the 8th gig I have done in Singapore and I have always been well received so it should be a good crack.
Love and Peace
Bentley
Love and Peace
Bentley
Sunday, 15 January 2012
Land Ahoy!!
Aye Aye landlubbers, "Well shiver me timbers, Yo Ho Ho barrels of rum on dead mens chest, black spots from Blind Pugh, rumblings in the Foc'sle and other assorted salty old sea dog malarkey.
We have made fast on the lay by berth at Sector 51 Keppel shipyard Singapore. We arrived at about 1700 last night. We are in among some seriously large tonnage in varying states of repair and I should imagine that for a photographer this place would be a treasure trove of opportunity.
I will get some snaps to give you an idea over the next few days.
As is customary there was a mass exodus ashore last night and several of the senior guys ended up in JJs watching the band Heritige until the small hours.
Headaches abound this morning however the fist cold beer (see earlier post) was most enjoyable after an dry period stretching to 115 days for myself.
Luckily the dry dock lay-by berth is miles from any civilisation ( read restaurants and bars) being in the middle of an industrial zone so it is a major effort to get ashore. This is a good thing as it keeps temptation at arms length and will ensure I arrive home in prime condition so Mrs B can benefit from my 4 months of healthy living.
Love and Peace
Bentley
We have made fast on the lay by berth at Sector 51 Keppel shipyard Singapore. We arrived at about 1700 last night. We are in among some seriously large tonnage in varying states of repair and I should imagine that for a photographer this place would be a treasure trove of opportunity.
I will get some snaps to give you an idea over the next few days.
As is customary there was a mass exodus ashore last night and several of the senior guys ended up in JJs watching the band Heritige until the small hours.
Headaches abound this morning however the fist cold beer (see earlier post) was most enjoyable after an dry period stretching to 115 days for myself.
Luckily the dry dock lay-by berth is miles from any civilisation ( read restaurants and bars) being in the middle of an industrial zone so it is a major effort to get ashore. This is a good thing as it keeps temptation at arms length and will ensure I arrive home in prime condition so Mrs B can benefit from my 4 months of healthy living.
Love and Peace
Bentley
Saturday, 14 January 2012
Date & Time 14 -01-2012
0000hrs (GMT +8 )
Position:- 1* 12.6 N 103* 34’.6 E
Speed:- 0 (in Dynamic Positioning mode holding station)
Wind:- N by W 10 Knots (Force 5 Gentle Breeze)
Sea State:- Calm
Weather:- Overcast.
Temp 77F
Distance to go:- 6 nautical miles
Jurong holding anchorage
http://www.charts.noaa.gov/NGAViewer/71265.shtml
In the South Western part of Singapore you will see Jarong Island and we are close to the light marked on the chart. On the chart if you zoom in to the north of Jurong Island you will see a depth mark of 10 (meters), we will be tying up on the 1 side of that.
We maybe getting a berth later today but nothing is confirmed.
It has been gratifying to know that few people have followed the passage and my various ramblings and reminiscences about some of my life at sea. To be honest I have barely scratched the surface, however what it has done is given me several ideas for some fictional short stories drawing on my experiences and weaving them into the tale.
I will keep my blog site running as a journal and update regularly as I go along with various musings and rantings.
I will make one more post this thread once we have made fast and the voyage is complete.
The music today is two tracks from this genius.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DjYTgwDizbk&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpprOGsLWUo&feature=related
Cheers
Bentley
0000hrs (GMT +8 )
Position:- 1* 12.6 N 103* 34’.6 E
Speed:- 0 (in Dynamic Positioning mode holding station)
Wind:- N by W 10 Knots (Force 5 Gentle Breeze)
Sea State:- Calm
Weather:- Overcast.
Temp 77F
Distance to go:- 6 nautical miles
Jurong holding anchorage
http://www.charts.noaa.gov/NGAViewer/71265.shtml
In the South Western part of Singapore you will see Jarong Island and we are close to the light marked on the chart. On the chart if you zoom in to the north of Jurong Island you will see a depth mark of 10 (meters), we will be tying up on the 1 side of that.
We maybe getting a berth later today but nothing is confirmed.
It has been gratifying to know that few people have followed the passage and my various ramblings and reminiscences about some of my life at sea. To be honest I have barely scratched the surface, however what it has done is given me several ideas for some fictional short stories drawing on my experiences and weaving them into the tale.
I will keep my blog site running as a journal and update regularly as I go along with various musings and rantings.
I will make one more post this thread once we have made fast and the voyage is complete.
The music today is two tracks from this genius.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DjYTgwDizbk&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpprOGsLWUo&feature=related
Cheers
Bentley
Thursday, 12 January 2012
Date & Time 1301-2012
0000hrs (GMT +8 )
Position:- 1* 18.7’ N 104* 48’.4 E
Course:- 295*
Speed:- 3.4 Knots
Wind:- WNW 19 Knots (Force 5 Strong Breeze)
Sea State:- Moderate (up 8 feet waves with underlying swell, white horses prevalent)
Weather:- Occasional monsoon squalls.
Position:- 1* 18.7’ N 104* 48’.4 E
Course:- 295*
Speed:- 3.4 Knots
Wind:- WNW 19 Knots (Force 5 Strong Breeze)
Sea State:- Moderate (up 8 feet waves with underlying swell, white horses prevalent)
Weather:- Occasional monsoon squalls.
Temp 79F
Distance to go:- 79 nautical miles
Distance to go:- 79 nautical miles
Eastern Entrance to Singapore Strait
http://www.charts.noaa.gov/NGAViewer/71265.shtml
We are up near the top left hand corner of the chart, of for those of you with a more nautical bent we are in the upper North West
We will be crossing the shipping lane at the end of the traffic separation lanes about between the “e” and “c” where it says Middle Channel
Up on the upper right side of the chart which is the eastern approaches to the Straits.
We have been delayed as we had to stop and pump bunkers to our escort tug.
We have been informed that out berth on the dry dock lay-by quay is not ready so we will be going into the anchorage and sitting in Dynamic Positioning for a few days until we can get alongside.
We are beam on to the NE monsoon swell so the rolling has increased and we are punching the current at the moment which has dropped out speed.
I am missing MrsB today after waking up from a particularly wonderful dream.
So this is to her from me and also for anyone who has ever wanted to sing this to someone or have it sung to them.
Wednesday, 11 January 2012
Crossing the Line
Date & Time 12-01-2012
0000hrs (GMT +8 )
Position:- 0* 27.4’ N 106* 00’.1 E
Course:- 310*
Speed:- 4.4 Knots
Wind:- NNW 19 Knots (Force 5 Strong Breeze)
Sea State:- Moderate (up 8 feet waves with underlying swell, white horses prevalent)
Weather:- Occasional monsoon squalls.
Temp 79F
Distance to go:- 162 nautical miles
South China Sea
http://www.charts.noaa.gov/NGAViewer/71033.shtml
We are up near the top left hand corner of the chart, of for those of you with a more nautical bent we are in the upper North West quadrant.
The wind has stayed the same force although backed to North a little.
The sea conditions are still moderate to rough although we are now experiencing an underlying North Easterly swell which is causing us to roll a little. Only about two or three degrees each way but combined with the slamming of the waves it is enough to let you know you are at sea.
We are not quite up to the “I’ve never known a night like it” stage and it is a level of movement in a vessel that I like.
We had a one massive bump at about 1350 yesterday which was the time we crossed over the equator. It is normally associated with a bump.
So I am now back in the northern hemisphere and a few more miles closer to home.
In days gone by we would have had a “Crossing the Line” ceremony which involves initiating people who have never crossed the equator with some maniacal and horrible rite of passage.
One crew member would become King Neptune and if there were no wives on board another would become Amphitrite
Davy Jones would be in attendance and my other made up dignitaries. Basically it was an excuse to get in fancy dress, have a laugh at the expense of new crossers, and go on the lash with a big feast as well.
The ones who had never crossed the equator would be subject to the law of the court of Neptune which normally involved having old stinking food waste (several days old) big tipped over the hapless victims whilst being charged with various made up crimes such as looking a but odd or wearing unusual socks.
It often involved the shearing of a chunk of hair as well which often started at the back and went over the top resulting in there being no other option but to have to shave it all off.
After the ritual humiliation of the new crosses there would be a big feast and p!ss up. With so may vessels being now dry, the various more stringent health and safety laws, bare minimum skeleton crews and more importantly very few new people going to sea, the more excessive ceremonies have died out and I haven’t seen one for 25 years or more.
They do them on passenger boats but as you can imagine it is a tamed down p!ss poor imitation of what used to go on.
One of the craziest ones I remember was on a ship called the La Ensenada on passage from France to Durban via several West African ports.
It was fairly wild bunch of us on there and we had several new crossers on board.
One was the galley boy who was always up for a laugh but had a bit of an obsession with his rather bouffant hair do.
During the ceremony a 4 inch wide strip was shaved from his neck to the top of his head and so he was left with no option but to shave it all off. There were 6 of them who had varying chunks of hair out so they all shaved their heads and the galley boy didn’t mind too much, although he said his girlfriend in the UK loved his hair and would finish with him if he had it too short.
There was also the fact that some men can shave their heads and it looks fine, however some shave their heads and just don’t have the head shape for it and therefore look a bit freakish. He was one of those.
We were expecting to be out for another 5 months so he was happy he would have a good head of hair again by the time we got back to the UK.
The day after the shave he stayed outside in the sun to long and burnt his head, but what made it worse was that the fluid his head swelled up like an alien.
Sympathy is not a known feeling on a ship and he had the mick ripped ruthlessly from him, even more so because the swelling started to subside so the fluid seemed to sink further lower down his head almost as though he had a rubber ring under the skin getting a little bit lower each day.
A day or two later he had this band of fluid about about an inch thick at ear level around his head, and a glowing red pate that had started to peel really badly. It would be fair to say he was not looking at his best when we docked at Walvis Bay (Namibia) to load 30,00 ton of salt.
In fact he looked more like something out of a circus freak show, but he remained in good spirits and joined the many of us who were off up the road for a few beers (although there was very little in Walvis Bay at that time.)
Unfortunately for the lad he was larking about and not paying attention when going down the gangway and he slipped and broke his ankle.
He was whisked off by ambulance and was put in cast at the local hospital but he couldn’t continue to the voyage and had to be flown home.
I have never seen someone so utterly distraught about having to go home before.
Six weeks earlier he had joined the vessel for his first trip clean, and fresh and with an extravagant head of hair and he was going home looking like something out of a zombie film.
Looking on the bright side he did have a Crossing the line Certificate,
I wonder if he had it framed?
Cheers
Bentley
Cheers
Bentley
The music today is from a band called Hobo Jones and the Junkyard Dogs.
They are long time mates of mine based in Maidstone and although the sound quality doesn’t do them justice I hope you get an idea of the sheer theater of their performances and the total irreverence they adopt when choosing what songs to cover.
The first time I met the lad singer and guitarist was when they were in a band called the Spice Daves who later went on to become Ghengis Khant, before hitting on the idea of Hobo Jones.
They are regulars at Glastonbury for the last four years and firm festival favourites as well as touring constantly all over the UK.
They play and intriguing fusion of punk and skiffle and no song is too big or too sacred for them to have ago at.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anylAQ31iAk&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9E3GB_QGKfA&feature=related
_________________
0000hrs (GMT +8 )
Position:- 0* 27.4’ N 106* 00’.1 E
Course:- 310*
Speed:- 4.4 Knots
Wind:- NNW 19 Knots (Force 5 Strong Breeze)
Sea State:- Moderate (up 8 feet waves with underlying swell, white horses prevalent)
Weather:- Occasional monsoon squalls.
Temp 79F
Distance to go:- 162 nautical miles
South China Sea
http://www.charts.noaa.gov/NGAViewer/71033.shtml
We are up near the top left hand corner of the chart, of for those of you with a more nautical bent we are in the upper North West quadrant.
The wind has stayed the same force although backed to North a little.
The sea conditions are still moderate to rough although we are now experiencing an underlying North Easterly swell which is causing us to roll a little. Only about two or three degrees each way but combined with the slamming of the waves it is enough to let you know you are at sea.
We are not quite up to the “I’ve never known a night like it” stage and it is a level of movement in a vessel that I like.
We had a one massive bump at about 1350 yesterday which was the time we crossed over the equator. It is normally associated with a bump.
So I am now back in the northern hemisphere and a few more miles closer to home.
In days gone by we would have had a “Crossing the Line” ceremony which involves initiating people who have never crossed the equator with some maniacal and horrible rite of passage.
One crew member would become King Neptune and if there were no wives on board another would become Amphitrite
Davy Jones would be in attendance and my other made up dignitaries. Basically it was an excuse to get in fancy dress, have a laugh at the expense of new crossers, and go on the lash with a big feast as well.
The ones who had never crossed the equator would be subject to the law of the court of Neptune which normally involved having old stinking food waste (several days old) big tipped over the hapless victims whilst being charged with various made up crimes such as looking a but odd or wearing unusual socks.
It often involved the shearing of a chunk of hair as well which often started at the back and went over the top resulting in there being no other option but to have to shave it all off.
After the ritual humiliation of the new crosses there would be a big feast and p!ss up. With so may vessels being now dry, the various more stringent health and safety laws, bare minimum skeleton crews and more importantly very few new people going to sea, the more excessive ceremonies have died out and I haven’t seen one for 25 years or more.
They do them on passenger boats but as you can imagine it is a tamed down p!ss poor imitation of what used to go on.
One of the craziest ones I remember was on a ship called the La Ensenada on passage from France to Durban via several West African ports.
It was fairly wild bunch of us on there and we had several new crossers on board.
One was the galley boy who was always up for a laugh but had a bit of an obsession with his rather bouffant hair do.
During the ceremony a 4 inch wide strip was shaved from his neck to the top of his head and so he was left with no option but to shave it all off. There were 6 of them who had varying chunks of hair out so they all shaved their heads and the galley boy didn’t mind too much, although he said his girlfriend in the UK loved his hair and would finish with him if he had it too short.
There was also the fact that some men can shave their heads and it looks fine, however some shave their heads and just don’t have the head shape for it and therefore look a bit freakish. He was one of those.
We were expecting to be out for another 5 months so he was happy he would have a good head of hair again by the time we got back to the UK.
The day after the shave he stayed outside in the sun to long and burnt his head, but what made it worse was that the fluid his head swelled up like an alien.
Sympathy is not a known feeling on a ship and he had the mick ripped ruthlessly from him, even more so because the swelling started to subside so the fluid seemed to sink further lower down his head almost as though he had a rubber ring under the skin getting a little bit lower each day.
A day or two later he had this band of fluid about about an inch thick at ear level around his head, and a glowing red pate that had started to peel really badly. It would be fair to say he was not looking at his best when we docked at Walvis Bay (Namibia) to load 30,00 ton of salt.
In fact he looked more like something out of a circus freak show, but he remained in good spirits and joined the many of us who were off up the road for a few beers (although there was very little in Walvis Bay at that time.)
Unfortunately for the lad he was larking about and not paying attention when going down the gangway and he slipped and broke his ankle.
He was whisked off by ambulance and was put in cast at the local hospital but he couldn’t continue to the voyage and had to be flown home.
I have never seen someone so utterly distraught about having to go home before.
Six weeks earlier he had joined the vessel for his first trip clean, and fresh and with an extravagant head of hair and he was going home looking like something out of a zombie film.
Looking on the bright side he did have a Crossing the line Certificate,
I wonder if he had it framed?
Cheers
Bentley
Cheers
Bentley
The music today is from a band called Hobo Jones and the Junkyard Dogs.
They are long time mates of mine based in Maidstone and although the sound quality doesn’t do them justice I hope you get an idea of the sheer theater of their performances and the total irreverence they adopt when choosing what songs to cover.
The first time I met the lad singer and guitarist was when they were in a band called the Spice Daves who later went on to become Ghengis Khant, before hitting on the idea of Hobo Jones.
They are regulars at Glastonbury for the last four years and firm festival favourites as well as touring constantly all over the UK.
They play and intriguing fusion of punk and skiffle and no song is too big or too sacred for them to have ago at.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anylAQ31iAk&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9E3GB_QGKfA&feature=related
_________________
Tuesday, 10 January 2012
Women are Fantastic
Why Women are Fantastic
Bearing in mind I am fully aware that if a man says something, when a woman isn’t listening, he is still wrong, and that there may well be some credence to the idea that we are from different planets, I still enjoy being in the presence of women.
Do you know that split second feeling you get when you are leaning back on a chair and you very nearly tip over but just manage to catch yourself in time? That’s what it feels like in the company of women for me.
You can never tell how it is going to go.
There is no mystery that in early religions the female was revered, but this was before men got their act together, when the christians and muslims took over by inventing a man god, and subjugated women to a lesser role, undeservedly subservient to men.
I don’t think it is a coincidence that the world has been at war ever since.
The adherents and enforcers of those religions have made great a effort over the centuries to ensure that it remains that way and although some remain firmly rooted in the stone ages a few of the cult offshoots of christianity have loosened up a bit as far as women are concerned.
All of that said, there is something quite magnificent about women and they have an ethereal quality that men can never attain because women are the ones that give life. It could be what men are scared of.
As much as I admire and respect women I wouldn’t want to be one because in the cycle of human life they get the sh!tty end of the stick.
For men it's simple, we are born pretty much intact.
When we reach the age of 12 or 13 our goolies drop, followed quickly by our voices, then one day the blue veined custard chucker starts spitting when we rub it, and that’s us sorted for the next 60 or 70 years. Job done.
Women have to go though a far more complex metamorphosis which starts when young, because there comes a time when, although you have been running about naked in the garden since you could walk, one day your mum or dad says you have best pop on a pair of knickers.
It is small change of attitude towards you and it probably goes by without much notice. But big changes are coming.
One day, a few years later when you are in the bath you notice something wrong with your chest as it appears to be separating and expanding into two distinct mounds. Your body is changing shape and morphing in front of your very eyes
“Muuuuuuummmm!!! Whats happening to me?”
“It is just part of turning into a woman darling”
Then a little while later you cant work out why you suddenly want to burn down the house and machine gun your family and friends, this is shortly followed by acute stomach cramps, followed hot on the heels by menstrual bleeding.
“Muuuummmmm, whats happening to me?
“Its your period darling, The excruciating pain, violent and unpredictable mood swings and the mess, well that’s you once a month for the next 40 years or more. Welcome to the club”
Without your knowledge or permission you are now starting to emit a secret pheromone scent that acts as a magnet to the male species of human who’s knackers have just dropped, and you have to spend a few years fighting of the advances of young men with pants afire with desire.
Eventually one of them, after much fumbling about under the duvet of uncertainty, will succeed in convincing you that it would be a great idea if you let him slip you a length, which it has to be said is never quite the “Mills and Boon” moment that you dreamt it might be.
I think it fair to say that loosing your virginity is rarely a satisfying sexual experience. It is more like a seamless wrapper on a box of your favourite chocolates that takes forever to get off, but until you can get rid of it, the goodies that lie within can’t be accessed.
Sex often leads to pregnancy which is where a whole new level of the might of being a woman comes into its own.
Budding breasts and the hormonal hurricane set off by the monthly menstrual cycle pale into insignificance compared with the changes that occur when you have an alien growing inside of you, demanding resources that were normally all yours.
Slowly but surely the growing, wriggling, kicking, body inside of you begins to pull on your skin and regardless of the amount of balm and ointments you apply you are convinced you can actually hear it stretching.
With the early morning nausea, odd swellings, sudden change in taste and smells, and the new ungainly way of walking you have had to adopt, you feel anything but feminine and womanly, however there comes a time at between 6 to 8 months when you suddenly say “ I am so so sexy, I am all woman, I am mighty sexy earth mother” as the new curves and shapes define you as the giver of live. Never before have you felt so whole as a woman. Its why you were revered as goddesses.
Hubby or boyfriend (if any good) will have been as supportive as possible during the whole thing and learnt to say the right things about how magnificent you look, and of course he still loves you etc, but men tend to be a bit squeamish about making love to a heavily pregnant woman.
Its not a lack of love or not fancying you or anything as ordinary and explicable as that.
What concerns us (and I know it’s irrational and a biological impossibility) is bashing the baby on the head or worse still feeling a hand grab.
I know I know, but it is a worry.
Shortly after the sex goddess, earth mother stage, the waddle walk and back aches remind you of the work yet to come.
You then have the act of giving birth which I have been told can sting a bit.
It is at that moment, when you are probably at the most exhausted, mentally and physically that you have ever been, you have to begin to bond with, nurture, protect and nourish and infant.
Some mystical hidden reserve comes to the fore and you manage this super human feat, only for a few years later to go through the second stage of a mothers pain.
This is when your child tells you that you that it no longer needs your warm, careful nurturing love and that you have become an embarrassment and that you know nothing and understand nothing.
This occurs these days when the child is about 12.
You will continue to provide free 5 star hotel services to your child until you have to go through the third mothers pain, the dreaded empty nest syndrome, which is the day when they flap their metaphorical wings that little bit harder and move in with the person that they have chosen to replace you with.
It is about this time that you start finding it difficult to know what to wear when you go out as one minute you feel fine, and the next you are having hot flushes, followed by irrational mood swings, which signals the start of the menopause.
This as far as I can tell is like a period but in reverse.
(It should be noted at this stage that with many men, if you could convert what they know about the menstrual cycle into air pressure, they wouldn’t have enough to pump up one of the tyres.)
The menopause sometimes coincides with you starting to wear purple and buying those strange looking hand made leather shoes and felt hats or taking up bungee jumping, or in few cases looking at your partner wondering how the woman you once were with the all the potential you had (and still have) ended up with that dullard.
But once the change is complete and you come out the other end you know you have done it.
You have cracked it you have come the full circle in the cycle of a woman and emerged then other end, miraculously in one piece, and hopefully still sane enough to get on with enjoying the rest of your life safe in the knowledge of a job well done.
But just when you thought that it was all over and you had done your bit, nature has one more vicious trick up its sleeve for you.
A beard.
Unwanted facial hair sprouting out all over the place leaving you to question if there no bloody end to what a woman must endure in her life before she can just relax back and enjoy it .
This is why I say that as much as enjoy your company and can only marvel at your resilience to the trials that life puts you through, you definitely get the rough end of the deal when it comes to the physicality required to be a human.
Respect.
Cheers
Bentley
Date & Time 11-01-2012
0000hrs (GMT +8 )
Position:- 0* 39.3’ S 107* 19’.1 E
Course:- 310*
Speed:- 4.6 Knots
Wind:- WNW 18 Knots (Force 5 Strong Breeze)
Sea State:- Moderate (up 8 feet waves with underlying swell, white horses prevalent)
Weather:- Occasional monsoon squalls.
Temp 79F
Distance to go:- 273 nautical miles
South China Sea
http://www.charts.noaa.gov/NGAViewer/71033.shtml
We are just below the wreck mark that is juust below the O of South China Sea
The wind has increased a little and although the sea stil has some fetch to it conditions are a little better and we are making over 4.5 knots This brings our ETA forward to noon on the 13th
The motion of the vessel is little improved with just the periodic slap of the odd larger wave
The music today is from a great songwriter called Lucinda Williams
First one upbeat and second one melancholy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-5GifxO_h0&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7fT0MDQKew0&feature=related
Love and Peace
Bentley
0000hrs (GMT +8 )
Position:- 0* 39.3’ S 107* 19’.1 E
Course:- 310*
Speed:- 4.6 Knots
Wind:- WNW 18 Knots (Force 5 Strong Breeze)
Sea State:- Moderate (up 8 feet waves with underlying swell, white horses prevalent)
Weather:- Occasional monsoon squalls.
Temp 79F
Distance to go:- 273 nautical miles
South China Sea
http://www.charts.noaa.gov/NGAViewer/71033.shtml
We are just below the wreck mark that is juust below the O of South China Sea
The wind has increased a little and although the sea stil has some fetch to it conditions are a little better and we are making over 4.5 knots This brings our ETA forward to noon on the 13th
The motion of the vessel is little improved with just the periodic slap of the odd larger wave
The music today is from a great songwriter called Lucinda Williams
First one upbeat and second one melancholy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-5GifxO_h0&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7fT0MDQKew0&feature=related
Love and Peace
Bentley
Monday, 9 January 2012
Date & Time 10-01-2012
0000hrs (GMT +8 )
Position:- 01* 47’.5 S 108* 38’.5 E
Course:- 310*
Speed:- 3.6 Knots
Wind:- WNW 15 Knots (Force 5 Strong Breeze)
Sea State:- Mod to Rough (up 12 feet Large wages with steep faces, some breaking waves with white horses prevalent)
Weather:- Squally conditions with occasional driving rain
Position:- 01* 47’.5 S 108* 38’.5 E
Course:- 310*
Speed:- 3.6 Knots
Wind:- WNW 15 Knots (Force 5 Strong Breeze)
Sea State:- Mod to Rough (up 12 feet Large wages with steep faces, some breaking waves with white horses prevalent)
Weather:- Squally conditions with occasional driving rain
Temp 79F
Distance to go:- 375 nautical miles
Distance to go:- 375 nautical miles
http://www.charts.noaa.gov/NGAViewer/71033.shtml
We are 3 miles SW of the island Palau Serutu
The wind has dropped abiut but the sea has a fair old fetch on it now with the continued regular monsoon squalls.
The motion of the vessel is still uncomfortable although a little improved and now we are moving away form where the sea narrows we are less influenced by adverse currents so we have managed toget up to 4 knots since midnight.
Our ETA at Keppel Dock Singapore
The music today is one track from what is a wonderful album.
I first heard this shortly after I had got back from sea a few years ago and MrsB set me up on the sofa with a large glass of wine and said “sit there and stay there until the end of the album as I think you will love it”
I did as bid and am very pleased to say she was right.
If you don’t have The Story of O in your album collection may I heaqrtily recommend that you remedy that as soon as you can
Hard to chose just one track but this one does it for me
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)